: Bad Jokes Deluxe Yesterday I was trying to eat some ice cream, but the kid I stole it from wouldn’t stop crying. I …
: Rolling I wasn’t close with my dad. We tried. But one day we were eating ice cream and watching cars on a …
: Naming Ceremony Maybe love is a farce. Maybe it’s the thing we say to convince ourselves we’re different. But forget …
: I've got a dad body. That's why you shouldn't go down to the basement.
: Of all the things I’ve read this year, the Dr. Suk slap sequence in Dictionary of the Khazars might …
: Dog Judge: The court hereby finds you the most amazing and best person that ever lived!
: Today I changed my mind. The new one isn’t very good either.
: What do I have more of, concerns or money? Concerns.
: If doing things was as easy as undoing things, I’d be way more productive.
: No Higher Ground I walked down a hill got to the bottom and realized— this was the best walk I’ve ever had. Most of …
: On the Topic of Ham I just learned I was accepted to the MFA program I wanted. That’s great news. There is a type of …
: From a Dream Last night I dreamed of a mushroom cloud in the distance. I wasn’t sad. Not even scared. Just— …
: An Open Letter to Sony Dear Sony, As a former purchaser of Sony products, I must express my sincere displeasure that you …
: I watched a lot of bad stand-up comedy and I wanted to offer these Jeff Parker-approved lines for …
: I finished reading Calvino’s Invisible Cities. There’s already ubiquitous praise for it so I have …
: Seven Visions of Kevin Stevens i saw a squirrel his name was kevin stevens that’s what he told me spring light, waking earth …
: The Thing about Poetry The thing about poetry is that it must be jeweled, baroque, a palace where every verb is encrusted …